Nice Place You Got Here 


From:  Captain Burgundy Jenssen Warrior Bard (13700) Time: 14.04.2010 - 01:44

Stardate 201001.1: Approximate time 17:00 hours Reposted from the Targ’s Head 01.01.2010

A well built blonde lady with mischievous green eyes and wilding flying long blonde locks, clad in dark brown leather riding outfit and smelling of fire and brimstone enters the bar. She is followed by two large bodyguards. One a 7 ft tall male Klingon in full warrior dress wearing a robe of the Imperial Guard. The other a 7-1/2 foot tall Nausicaan, clad in full leather and metal mesh jousting tournament garb. Many bar patrons scramble to give them the corner table of their choosing. They sit at the back edge of the bar, where they can strategically watch the comings and goings of all the patrons. They sit down at the table with a hardy laugh. The lithe and bold lady takes of her riding gloves and tosses them on the table. Her Romulan Blooddagger glints a flash of green along her shin and a Klingon Disruptor is securely fastened to her utility belt. The Klingon places his disruptor on the table right where he can easily reach it. The Nausicaan slaps down a few credits from a pouch on his belt and the bar patrons see it holds a Nausicaan dagger as well as several other energy weapons that are not to be trifled with. He yells for the bar keeper.

"What does a guy have to do to get a drink around here!" Gorp, the Nausicaan yells.

"Gorp, manners my fine man. This is not the Jousting Pit." Captain Jenssen (AKA J'Ssen) steadies her trustworthy jousting champion. "I'm sure our buddy (Erie'Riov) Lieutenant JJ Version 3.1-FC.R.-will get too us when he has a free moment...the Bar is hopping, looks like business is strong since New Years."

She laughs merrily at the fine atmosphere and the decorations over the bar. Two large Targ Fangs hang in small frames...One with Tor’Cha’s name on it and one with her own emblazoned under the frame. Beside the Targ Fangs is a small wooden sliver of a jousting lance tied on a fine gold plated latinum string.

Grewell, The Klingon Jousting Master and War Beast Trainer sees the lance piece and snorts, "He actually hung it up there."

"Aw Grewell, you know JJ had a fabulous time with us. Admit it, you like the lad." Jenssen teases her good friend.

Grewell snorts again and chuckles a hearty Klingon laugh, "Well if he sticks around with me, he's going to have to learn not to touch the War Beasts! He was lucky Roark tossed him in with Fluffy and not you’re Moreth, as moody as she has been lately."

"Aww, you now Moreth only likes warm cows for her night cap." Jenssen counters.

The three wait at the table to be served.

JJ please rollplay back your service to us. We are not here to start any fights, this is my character. We are here to report the latest Jousting results in a very entertaining manner. To be continued....


(Part 2) Why Hello Roark!

From:  Captain Burgundy Jenssen Warrior Bard (13700) Time: 14.04.2010 - 01:47

Stardate 201001.01 - Continued. Reposted from the Targ’s Head 02.01.2010

Jenssen glances up, with no concern as a large figure approaches her table. She smiles as she sees who has decided to come and chat for a moment.

"Why Hello Roark Tick - 20009. It is nice to see you again. The Nimori Dragons you sent me are doing very well. Old Blue passed away...our Vet thought it was his age...He was the oldest of the group. Grewell here about cried. He loved that beast." Jenssen teased her Klingon companion.

"Did not." Grewell responded, "I just hated to see us loose a source for that blue armor plating for the war beasts."

"Of course silly of me." Jenssen replied smiling again. "You are always so practical. We had a lovely memorial for the beast as we cremated the body with the last detonation of photon torpedoes to terriform a desert mountain."

Gorp snorts a stifle of laughter and the Grewell growls at him. The two old friends and jousting rivals, stare at each other menacingly, then burst out in a round of laughter. Gorp strums the table with his gloved hand, impatient for his drink.

"So Roark, I trust you enjoyed the free tickets the Jousting Contest we had New Years Eve. I saw you in the stands there in those front row seats. I'm sure you had a great view of the action this time around." Jenssen nods as another patron gives her a slight wave. "We've come in to re-tell the tale of the New Years Eve Jousting Contest....I hope you don't mind if I fill some of your action in the tale? It would make the story flow smoother and of course I would report the events in a most honorable manner. I would never allow a friend to look anything but glorious in the telling of any event such as this. It is a Klingon's honor to tell a story well and even if I, a mere Terran, were not under the counsel of the Klingon Empire, it is my honor as well."

The bar patrons begin to lean over to hear what is most likely going to be a rousing story of battle and glory.

"But first I must insist my friends and I get our drinks, for we are parched from our travels and must have nourishment to keep up or strength for such a telling of tales." Jenssen continues in playfully-wavering voice.

Gorp and Grewell snort again at Jenssen's embellishment of their groups "weakened and frail" condition. Jenssen smiles warmly, but it is very apparent to everyone in the bar, these travelers are not wanting for anything but good hospitability and a place to tell a such a wild tale.

To continue once JJ responds....

(Part 3) Drinks first, then a tale of the Warrior's Joust



From:  Captain Burgundy Jenssen Warrior Bard (13700) Time: 14.04.2010 - 01:49
Stardate 201001.01 - Continued. Reposted from the Targ’s Head 02.01.2010

Jenssen, Grewell, and Gorp laugh merrily at the sight of their buddy JJ, covered in targ blood and fur, as he emerged from the back room of the bar. It is obvious that JJ was expecting this visit and was trying to make a Targ Roast "dinner" for his guests.  Grewell stands up to give JJ a good friendly shoulder shaking, lifting the poor lad off his feet.

"Bravo JJ, you slaughtered a targ all by yourself....I have to see." Grewell, walks over and peaks through the door to the back of the bar. Sure enough JJ has indeed managed to not completely mangle the young Targlet. He pounds JJ on the back affectionately, almost knocking JJ off his feet.

"JJ we might make a warrior of you yet.....Targlet back ribs tonight Captain." Grewell proclaims holding his hands out to show the size of the little targlet, "But it might be only a beginning course, it's just a little one, but they are fresh."

"That's great JJ. Let me have a few more cases of ribs beamed down for you to show our appreciation for your hospitality." Before JJ can object, Captain Jenssen opens a channel from the jeweled pin of an Andorian Ice crystal on her riding vest.

"Jenssen to Commander Tellis. Beam down six cases of fresh targ ribs to a position 20 meters due east of should find a nice cold locker there on sensors."

"Yes, Captain. They should be there now." Tellis' humored voice comes back over her comm badge.

The whine of a transporter is heard behind JJ's cold storage door and JJ's robot, Floyd, skids to the door and flings it open, afraid the goods in storage are being snatched from the bar. Jenssen shakes her head in amusement. Sure enough six cases of fresh Targ ribs are there ready to be grilled.

JJ points to the door and the Robot scurries in to toss more ribs on the flames for the whole bar.

Gorp bellows, "Saurian Brandy for me, make it a double JJ, on the double!"

"Bloodwine, a double mug! The only reasonable drink there is!" roars Grewell.

"Actually tonight JJ, I'll try some Vulcan Brandy if you have it." Captain Jenssen winks at him. "Have to keep it a little light tonight if I am to tell a fine tale, a warrior's tale....a tale of the New Years Eve Jousting Tournament."

To be continued...

 (Part 4) Tale of the New Years Eve Jousting Tournament

 on Ironsides




 Captain Burgundy Jenssen Warrior Bard (13700) Time: 14.04.2010 - 01:52

Stardate 201001.01 - Continued.... Reposted from the Targ’s Head 02.01.2010

(Erie'Riov) Lieutenant JJ Version 3.1-FC.R.- sets the drinks on the table and pulls up a chair. Gorp grabs up Captain Jenssen’s drinks and quickly scans them. He then takes a sip to test each one, before clasping JJ firmly on the back positively letting him know he approves of the quality of the Vulcan Brandy and the safety of the product.

"Sorry JJ, no offense meant." Captain Jenssen shrugs to him. "I am the leader of a large Colony, so safety is very important to my men and my colonists. I hope you understand Gorp’s concern for me. I’m good with one drink tonight (Erie'Riov) Lieutenant JJ Version 3.1-FC.R.-, thank you again for the gracious hospitality." She lifts a glass of the sparking amber liquid towards JJ in appreciation, before taking a sip herself.

Jenssen’s mischievous green eyes twinkle at the merriment of the atmosphere in the Targ’s Head Bar tonight, on this first night of the New Year. She slides two of her drinks over to Gorp who instantly downs one in a single gulp.

JJ smiles a goofy, kid-like grin, having a grand time sitting among these warriors again.

"Now before we start, for those of you in the Bar who do not know our Jousting rules, let me bring you up to speed. Jousting on Ironsides is held as a true warriors contest. It is not a contest for the faint of heart or stomach. If you are squeamish in any way, it would be a good time now to settle your tabs and depart." Jenssen speaks out loudly and strongly. Her commanding voice filling the room easily without a hint of a shouting required. It is a bards voice; a voice that has told many a tale of Honor and Glory before. She pauses to survey the Bar just in case anyone may want to leave. She is gratified to see that just the opposite happens many more of the patrons pick-up their chairs and nudge them just a little closer to hear the tale better.

Grewell roars, "You will not need to sit so close to hear this tale! Warriors do not whisper and Captain Jenssen will tell it for all to hear."

Gorp pounds a fit on the table, "And if she does not, I will!"

Jenssen laughs and bellows out to him, "You would!"

With that Jenssen stands up from her chair, turning it around to let the high back rest against the table as she takes off her rich green Vulcan cloak and drapes it over the back of the chair. Her 29th century ablative, anti-Borg body armor gleams under the leather riding jacket, making it obvious that no one should attempt a pot shot at her while she is telling this tale. JJ points mouth agape, at the body armor wondering where she got it.

"JJ you know that’s a gift from my cousin, Captain Janeway. I’ve had it for years." Jenssen dismisses his questions as she quickly hops up onto the chair, her knee-high, deep brown, leather riding boots clicking on the wooden seat as she turns the chair into an impromptu stage.

"Well my friends, let me set the scene for you. Jousting on Ironsides is done exactly as the Earth knights of old. We have a jousting pit, which is divided by a plasteel rail. The rail is about 50 meters long. On either end of the arena there is a starting area about 20 meters from the ends of the center rail for our champions and their mounts to warm up before advancing down the rail. The joust lances we use are wooden lances made from Vulcan Teakwood. They are hard and light. They measure about 3.5 meters in length with an old-fashioned brass tip about 2 centimeters in diameter tapering out to the hilt to cover the hand. These lances are not pre-split in any way."

"Damage to an opponent is often severe and bloody. These lances do often shatter upon impact with the Champions armor and pieces often fly into the crowd, sometimes becoming imbedded in spectators. On Ironsides it is considered an honorable souvenir of the fight to go home with a splinter of a lance tipped in your own blood. For those of you familiar with Earth Baseball, it’s the same as catching a foul ball or home run. But be warned all splinters, which are imbedded in spectators, are removed without any local anesthetics. That is also how all damage to our champions is treated. As in medieval times, there was no easy way to remove lances or repair bodies as we have now with our medical technology today. That is the one thing we do to keep these contest close to tradition. We do treat our contestants and spectators with the finest medical care in the Delta Quadrant, supplied by our two on staff Doctors, present at every joust. Rarely does any contestant or spectator die, but serious injuries do happen and the recovery can be as painful as the damage inflicted."

Gorp snorts and bellows, "You should know Captain!"

"Yes Gorp, I do know. You gave me a nice lance through the thigh on my first attempt at it, as I recall." Jenssen acknowledges to the laughter of the crowd as she bows her head slightly to the big Nausicaan.

"The first row seating gets a particularly good view of the joust, as the seating is only 10 meters off the rail on either side of the Jousting Pit. This gives our War Beasts room to fall without impacting the padded walls. We do need to keep our War Beast a little protected, as many of them are rare and valuable animals, trained under the care and guidance of none other then Grewell himself." Jenssen nodded at the large Klingon warrior.

Grewell smiles a toothy Klingon grin and shouts, "More valuable than their pathetic peta’Q riders!"

"Our War Beast have some of the finest and lightest jousting armor in the galaxy, crafted from the scales of Nimori Dragons provided to us by none other than the gracious Roark Tick." Captain Jenssen casually salutes the big Trigerian in appreciation for his fine animals.

To be continued....





 (Part 5) Tale of the New Years Eve Jousting Tournament on the Rock Asteroid Ironsides


 Captain Burgundy Jenssen Warrior Bard (13700) Time: 14.04.2010 - 01:57
Stardate 201001.01 - Continued. Reposted from the Targ’s Head 02.01.2010

Jenssen takes her glass of Brandy as Grewell hands it to her. She sips it before continuing the tale, tossing her wild blonde hair back of her shoulders.

"On New Year’s Eve we held our Championship Tournament. Throughout the year we run a winners bracket and loser’s bracket for the bouts. On New Year’s Eve, we settle once and for all, who is the years finest Jousting Champion. The winner of the bout goes to the first one to score three hits or unseat their opponent. A knock down of the riders beast counts as two hits as long as the bout can continue. A rider can forfeit without taking a hit at any time in the run by lifting his lance and trotting his beast past the mid-point should either he or his beast not be able to continue the bout."

"Like thats likely!" Gorp bellows laughing at what is obviously a coward’s option.

"True Gorp, there are not many who would take that option in the THE KLINGON EMPIRE."
Jenssen smiles down at the crowd.

"Coming into the match from our loosers bracket, Kelran Kave of Andoria riding the Andorian Ice Runner Beast 'Blade' and our very own Naussicaan, Gorp, riding the Nausicaan War Beast 'Rover'."

The crowd murmurs in appreciation as Gorp grins kicking, a booted foot up onto the edge of the table, to lean his chair back as he lifts his drink high above his head. JJ slugs Gorp in the shoulder trying to be one with the warrior. Gorp leans over to growls at him, breathing hot Saurian brandy laced breath in JJ’s face. JJ shrinks back in his chair looking a little afraid that he might have just made a life-ending move. But then Grewell laughs and slugs JJ in the opposite shoulder to let him know the two big warriors are just toying with him, nearly knocking JJ off the chair. Gorp catches JJ and rights him, keeping JJ from sliding off onto the floor.

Jenssen continues unphased by the antics of the three in front of her, "And from our winner’s bracket, Dundin Dur of Alpha Irindi riding a loaner Soleggiettian Desert Beast 'Buzzsaw'. Dundins original mount took ill with some kind of stomach upset, so we loaned him Grewell’s favorite mount, 'Buzzsaw', as a replacement. Our other winners bracket champion, riding an Angkor Tundra Runner Beast 'Tank', our very own Grewell."

"Meh." Grewell lifts a gloved hand in the air, dismissing his whole part in the story and taking a big gulp from his mug of Bloodwine.

"Our guests for this bout came from all over the Quadrant, some by my personal invitation." Jenssen inclines her at Roark Tick who raises his mug to her in appreciation for the free front row tickets.

"You got your New Year’s wish didn't ya' Roark." Jenssen nods over the crowd looking at the purple Insectoid with mischief in her eyes.

"Dah! I got a good mouthful!" Roark roars back to her.

The crowd laughs a little hesitantly, eyeing him a little wearily.

"Oh Me, Me, Me!" JJ raises his hand, obviously already four sheets to the wind and the story has only begun.

Jenssen laughs, "Yes, you too JJ. We also had some people you all know. Jarmen Kell joined us, sitting strategically in a second row and bringing his own sheet of plastic. Smart man there!"

"Dah, I should have thought of that!" Roark Tick - 20009 bellows from the back of the room,"Next time!"

Jenssen continues, "Many of our Klingon brothers and sister were there. Tor'Cha ajla - House of Tor =Klingon Empire= and Ka'Ra 'la - House of Tor =Klingon Empire= were there. Tel'Peh and his bride to be Nannersplit - 24077 were our guests of honor, all sitting with me in the official's booth right in front of the midpoint of the rail, first row seats. We even had a surprise visit by Admiral Oblivion as he was spied sitting up on the top row in a corner of the arena, puffing smoke rings. "

"Where is Oblivion? I saw him in here earlier?" Jenssen scans out over the crowd and there is Oblivion sitting in a dark corner of the bar, once again puffing a rather suspicious blend of smoke rings.

"Ah there you are!" Jenssen winks at him, "Haven't you finished that joint yet?"

The crowd laughs and claps.

To be continued ..




 (Part 6) Intermission - Tips on Dealing with

Admiral Harcourt Fenton Mudd


 Captain Burgundy Jenssen Warrior Bard (13700) Time: 14.04.2010 - 02:01
Stardate 201001.01 - Continued. Reposted from the Targ’s Head 02.01.2010

Jenssen, Gorp and Grewell all look up and back to the edge of the Bar where Mudd is making a spectacle of himself. The crowd looks back and forth between them wondering. Jenssen smiles a mischievous grin.

Why Admiral H. F. Mudd =Cmdr FCR fleet ops=, how thoughtful of you to ask me to sing the song. A warrior bard such as myself is honored that you appreciate my fine singing voice which no doubt you have heard from time to time over subspace. However, my dear Lad, the time is late and already this tale is long. I must have time to get home before Moreth needs her night cap." Jenssen grins like the Cheshire Cat and continues.

"And besides, I did see one of your cloned android wives, Stella, I believe, outside the bar. Norman it seems has forgotten to repair that off switch on her. A fine lady such as that would not believe you would venture into a place such as this. NOW... if I were to sing, it would no doubt draw her suspicions and she would come looking for you here. You know how jealous she gets when she thinks you are seeing other women behind her back. No doubt you would not get her to shut up for a week."

Mudd's eyes suddenly grow very big and his jaw drops. He quietly turns off the amplifier, carefully puts down the microphone with a little pat, whispering to it, 'later my dear, later, just you and me, we'll sing then.' and quickly returns to his chair in the corner of the bar to the crowd's applause...they didn't really want to see his cloned android wife either.

To be continued..









 (Part 7) Tale of the New Years Eve Jousting Tournament

on the Rock Asteroid Ironsides continued...

 Captain Burgundy Jenssen Warrior Bard (13700) Time: 14.04.2010 - 02:07

Stardate 201001.01 - Continued. Reposted from the Targ’s Head 02.01.2010

(Erie'Riov) Lieutenant JJ Version 3.1-FC.R.-’s robot, Floyd, choose the right moment to bring out a large platter of ribs out and begins to distribute them around the tables to all the patrons. After a quick safety check, Gorp and Grewell dig into the Targ Ribs. Gorp tosses up Jenssen a BBQ rib. She snatches it out of the air easily and takes a bite. Then, props her foot up on the back of the chair, her Blooddagger flashing green in the hazy smoke filled light of the bar. She leans into her leg to rest an elbow on it, Targ rib dangling in space in true Klingon style.

"Not bad JJ, not bad." Jenssen proclaims, heartily.

The crowd also approves of JJ’s BBQ Targ ribs with Bloodwine/STNE Christmas ketchup sauce with a cheer.

"Oh where was I now....Ah yes....The first bout between Kelran and Gorp." Jenssen picks up the story. Standing up straight again and tossing the unfinished rib down to Grewell and handing him her drink so she can use both arms to tell this part of the tale in grand sweeping fashion.

"So there were all were ready for the bout to begin. The air was thick with the smell of sweat and the deep musk of the War Beasts. The Denobian Trumpets heralded in the Champions to the Ring. The First Challengers entered the Arena, lances held high, armor gleaming under the lights to take a lap around the Arena. Dust was kicked up high into the air from the pounding hooves of the war steeds. The crowd was chatting, calling the name of their Champion. The Andorian Complement sitting at the West end of the a wash in blue banners....chats of Kelran! Kelran! Rose to the rafters!"

"Gorp’s Nausciaan supporters filled the East end of the Arena. Half the Klingon Field on the North side behind the Offical’s box also were chanting for Gorp. Someone tossed a live Targlet onto the field and our Bolain flag man, Jrell, had to chase it down and toss it back of the Arena gates. For those of you who don’t know the flag man raises the pole flag at the mid-point of the Joint rail to start each Pass. Anyway, here was poor Jrell chasing that Targlet around the ring as the war beasts and their riders were getting all set up on either end; ready for the first Pass."

"I walked out on to the field as the Joust offical to start the customary short introduction of each Rider. Then the bout began."

"Jrell steadied is flag as both riders indicated they were ready. He raised the flag and both challengers reared their mounts and charged down the rail. Dust flew and the crowd rose to its feet as lances clashed upon shields and spintered into pieces mid field. A lance piece sailed into the crowd striking Tor'Cha ajla - House of Tor - =Klingon Empire= in the shoulder. Tor'Cha didn't even notice the sliver had struck him until Ka'Ra 'la - House of Tor =Klingon Empire= reached over and yanked it out. She held up the nine-centimeter piece to him and stymied the slight flow of blood with a small scrap of cloth torn from her shirt. Tor'Cha hugged her and let her keep the sliver. It was a mere flesh wound."

"Point on first hit to Kelran!" yelled Jrell.

"The Nausciaan crowd bood and hissed in displeasure from the stands. It was an honorable hit to the shield by Kelran and a good call by Jrell." Jenssen paused to let the tension build.

"The Challengers set up again, ready to charge the rail. Jrell lifted the flag and the war beasts raced down the rail... lances lowering to meet again mid-point. Gorp's Lance slid over the top edge of Kelran’s shield striking the Andorian it the shoulder. The lance tip when through his shoulder, breaking off cleanly. Kelran took the hit and crumpled back over Blades haunches so as not to be unseated by the blow. Kelran’s lance splintered against Gorp’s shield in a shower of pieces, arching out over the crown on the south end of the arena. Someone yelled as a piece of lance pierced a body part and our Holographic Doctor - Mark 1 materialized to yank out the splinter to the howls of an Alpha Irindi native on the south end of the Arena."

"Kelrans team assessed his shoulder wound and he insisted to carry on the bout. Blue blood was flowing down the back of his armor, but it was not a crippling blow." Jenssen continued.

"Point to Gorp!" Jrell cried mid-field. The Nausicaan stands howled in approval.

"The challengers re-set and Jrell lifted the flag again....Blade and Rover charged down the field...War beast spittle flying.....and at mid field again the lances clashed with shield and armor. This time Gorps lance deflected low, striking the padded saddle Kelran was seated in. Rover dug in hard, pushing the lance up against his opponent Blade. Blade was caught off stride, lifting the Andorian Ice Runner off his feet slamming him into the padding on the North side of the Arena, end right in front of the officials booth. Blue Ice runner blood flew into the stands, covering Roark Tick - 20009's face and showering Jarm'en Kell's well positioned plastic sheet, as the lance sliced across the flank of the War beast. Kelran, the Andorian, toppled forward, falling out of the saddle as Blade bellowed and jumped, bucking wildly. The Andorian side of the field groaned in obvious defeat of their champion."

"Grewell and I jumped down from the Officals stand. Grewell grabbed Blade's reins and I slapped a large dermal patch on the War beasts flanks to stop the blood flow from the mere surface wound. Blade quickly came to a calm halt under Grewell’s careful ministering"

"Better bet he did!" Grewell shouted, "That War Beast knows who fills his feed each night."

"And the fact that you have a bottle of female Ice Runner pheromones in your pocket." Jenssen countered.

"Can ever be too prepared!" Grewell lifted his mug at Jenssen.

"Gorp, the ever gracious and uncontested winner of the bout, was already at mid-field helping Kelran up." Jenssen continued.

Gorp snorted, "Had to rub it in while I could!"

"Jrell took position center of the Arena between both Challengers and resolutely lifted Gorps arm as winner of the Bout. The Nuasicaan crowd went wild, chants of Gorp! Gorp!Gorp! filled the air. The Klingons howled in pleasure and mugs of Bloodwine were passed around freely."

"Both our War beasts were fine folks....Kelran will be back next season." Jenssen waved off any concern by the bar on-lookers.

"Are you sure?" Roark Tick countered from his seat. "I could take care of rest of that Ice Beast for you! Tasted a little bit like turtle pot pie!"

The crowd edged away from him a little more.

"Roark I'm sure. Blade is fine. He is a hearty beast." Jenssen waving Grewell to sit back down, before Grewell could stand up to go after Roark Tick, chuckling at what she knew would be the response from the opportunistic Insectoid.

to be continued.




                 (Part 8) Tale of the New Years Eve Jousting Tournament

                  on the Rock Asteroid Ironsides


Captain Burgundy Jenssen Warrior Bard (13700) Time: 14.04.2010 - 02:20

Stardate 201001.01 - Continued. Reposted from the Targ’s Head 03.01.2010

Jenssen smiles as JJ get to include is little warriors brag in the mix. It is after, all his bar.

"Ah yes, then, now on to our Winners bracket bout." Jenssen quickly starts in, checking the time on the Chronometer above the bar. The hour is growing late.

"Once again our Champions enter, mounted on their war beasts and circle the arena to the rumbling cheers of the crowd and sound of trumpets. Grewell on the mighty Angkor Beast, Tank, who looks a lot like a large Terran Rhino, but is sleeker and quicker. Then Champion Dundin on the great Buzzsaw." Jenssen eyes the crowd mischievously.

"Now I know a lot of you don't know, but JJ was with us at a previous joust where he recieved that splinter. Durning that visit he was tossed in the War Beast pens with Rovers mate, Fluffy by Roark. Fluffy went off her feed, falling madly in love with JJ....well Grewell got his hands on JJ and tied him up in front of Buzzsaws pen threatening to feed him to Buzzsaw if he didn't get the two Nausicaan war beasts back together again. Obviously he did or wouldn't be sitting here with us today. Buzzsaw is our only omnivorous war beast. He is a lot like a huge Vulcan Sehlat, very bear-like, only he’s got orange scales, and he's Grewells favorite."

Gorp laughed shouts out, "More like his puppy dog!"

"Hey you were going to eat JJ's entrails! Fuffly is your favorite War Beast" Grewell reaches across JJ slugging the big Nausicaan in the chest, sloshing his bloodwine all over JJ. JJ hardly notices, he is so intent on the story, chewing happily on a targ rib.

"Take it outside! I'm not paying for this bar." Jenssen glares at the two of them and they settle down to listen to the rest of the tale.

"Well Buzzsaw seems to have a lot longer memory then any of us realized, as you shall see." Again, Jenssen smiles like the Cheshire Cat and the crowd knows, this is going to be good.

"Well our Champions take their positions on the field. Again, I introduce them to the crowd. The Klingon's bellow as Grewell's name is called from the north side of the Arena. The Alpha Irindi contengent boo's and hiss's from the south end until their Champion is introduced accordingly."

"Jrell advances to the center of the field with the flag. The Champions readied their mounts and lances. The flag is dropped and both Champions charge the rail....dust sprays high into the air as the Challengers cross lances mid-field. Buzzsaw bellows a growl at Tank as they pass and Tank rears up, almost unseating Grewell at the end of the arena."

"Point to Grewell!" yells Jrell, for Grewell's lance hits first on Dundins shield, sending a spray of splinters into the air. The Klingon stands erupt in howls of pleasure."

"The Champions re-set again....ready to charge the rail as Jrell lifts the flag for the second pass. Again, lances clash with shields and Buzzsaw bellows at Tank as they pass midfield. Again, Jrell yells out point to Grewell, for indeed Grewell even fighting to keep Tanks head straight to the onsalught of Buzzsaws intimidation of Tank, hits true on Dundin's shield. The Irindi crowd hisses in displeasure and the Klingon roar becomes almost defeaning...."

"Steady your beasts!" Yells Jrell mid-field as he is ready to raise the flag.

"The flag lifts and the Champions charge down the field. Tank has had enough of Buzzsaws intimidation and as the champions clash mid field. Tank ducks his head, catching Buzzsaws foot with his nose horn, making the bear-like warbeast stumble. Dundin flies off the saddle and crashes into Grewell knocking both champions to the ground at the same time. Buzzsaw comes unglued. He roars and charges after Tank. Tank being a quick and smart animal, jumps into the crowd on the Irindi side of the arena and runs along the barrier wall all along the officials box to the exit where the beast pens are, leaving Buzzsaw in the middle arena. Grewell and Dundin have both gone down in a jumble of arms and legs and Grewell jumps up yelling and swearing. Both are eliminated from the contest as both were fairly unseated. Dundin moans as it is obvious Grewells weight has broken a leg. EMH-MARK1 and Dr. Nibbert rush to the field to cart off the wounded champion while Grewell begins chasing down Buzzsaw to get him back to his pen. "

"But Buzzsaw has caught the scent of something in the stands and he rushs the officials booth where JJ is seated to the side and jumps up on the railing to grab JJ and haul him into the arena. JJ shreiks as he's lifted up over the railing and Buzzsaw startled by the sound that is almost like that of a small cub crying, drops him and stares at him on the dusty arena floor. JJ takes that opportunity to high tail it to Grewell who is running towards the two already. Buzzsaw counters, swiping a paw at JJ as he ducks behind Grewell. Grewell grabs the reins on Buzzsaws head halter and calms the beast. JJ sees he is safe and hesitantly reaches out to pat Buzzsaws rear, the furthest part away from the beasts teeth, as he walks whistling to himself to the officials booth, fists in the air in triumply at not getting killed or mangled today."

The crowd at the Bar cheers as JJ holds up both hands in the air, nodding.

"At the arena, one of the Durass sisters sees JJ, and rushes onto the field to pick him up and carry him back to the stands. JJ shrieks again, but it is too late. She is holding him to her bosom, purring in his ear, obviously so drunk she has mistaken JJ for some warrior, or she is after his pocket book again." Jenssen smiles again at the crowd. "Now that is a story we may never know the ending on."

Grewell slugs JJ in the shoulder, "I told you JJ we would make a warrior of you yet! I'm sure the Durass sisters did a good job warming you up!" Gorp and Grewell howl in laughter as JJ blushes red.

"So winner by default, this years jousting Champion for the first time, I give you the magnificent Gorp, Champion of the Nausicaan Nation!" Jenssen extends a hand, palm up, to indicate her Nauscicaan friend as he tips his chair back a shot glass in each hand.

"On a side note, our Guests of Honor, Tel’Peh and Nannersplit I am told were married off about 4 am after all the jousting celebrations ended by a very drunken officiating Ka’Ra in the presence of many of our Klingon guests. The Traditional Klingon Ceremony was held over subspace I have been told, but as I, Captain Jenssen, galactic, trader, bard, poet and warrior, was busy conducting a trade of various sorts at a black jack table, I missed the festivities. So that is one tale my, friends and colleagues, I can not tell you."

With that, Jenssen steps down from her chair and shakes hands with one of the bar partons as she shoulders her Vulcan cloak. Gorp and Grewell stand, recognizing it is now time to leave. Jenssen swipes the remains of her glass of Vulcan Brandy off the table as she heads toward the exit. JJ is getting clasps of congratulations on the back from his bar patrons. As the warrior bard reaches the door, she turns with a flourish and a twinkle in her eye.

Jenssen lifts her glass to those in the bar.

"I bid you all an evening toast of farewell"

"May the lift of a full deuterium tank lighten your load,
May the mist of a cosmic wormhole shorten your road,
And may all your friends remember, the favors you are owed."

With that she downs the rest of her drink, slides the glass across the bar to the robot and waves, to the galaxy's finest assembled in the bar, turns and dematerializes off to her ship.

The End


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