Page 6

Stardate 201001.1: Approximate time 17:00 hours Reposted from the Targ’s Head 01.01.2010

A well built blonde lady with mischievous green eyes and wilding flying long blonde locks, clad in dark brown leather riding outfit and smelling of fire and brimstone enters the bar. She is followed by two large bodyguards. One a 7 ft tall male Klingon in full warrior dress wearing a robe of the Imperial Guard. The other a 7-1/2 foot tall Nausicaan, clad in full leather and metal mesh jousting tournament garb. Many bar patrons scramble to give them the corner table of their choosing. They sit at the back edge of the bar, where they can strategically watch the comings and goings of all the patrons. They sit down at the table with a hardy laugh. The lithe and bold lady takes of her riding gloves and tosses them on the table. Her Romulan Blooddagger glints a flash of green along her shin and a Klingon Disruptor is securely fastened to her utility belt. The Klingon places his disruptor on the table right where he can easily reach it. The Nausicaan slaps down a few credits from a pouch on his belt and the bar patrons see it holds a Nausicaan dagger as well as several other energy weapons that are not to be trifled with. He yells for the bar keeper.

"What does a guy have to do to get a drink around here!" Gorp, the Nausicaan yells.

"Gorp, manners my fine man. This is not the Jousting Pit." Captain Jenssen (AKA J'Ssen) steadies her trustworthy jousting champion. "I'm sure our buddy (Erie'Riov) Lieutenant JJ Version 3.1-FC.R.-will get too us when he has a free moment...the Bar is hopping, looks like business is strong since New Years."

She laughs merrily at the fine atmosphere and the decorations over the bar. Two large Targ Fangs hang in small frames...One with Tor’Cha’s name on it and one with her own emblazoned under the frame. Beside the Targ Fangs is a small wooden sliver of a jousting lance tied on a fine gold plated latinum string.

Grewell, The Klingon Jousting Master and War Beast Trainer sees the lance piece and snorts, "He actually hung it up there."

"Aw Grewell, you know JJ had a fabulous time with us. Admit it, you like the lad." Jenssen teases her good friend.

Grewell snorts again and chuckles a hearty Klingon laugh, "Well if he sticks around with me, he's going to have to learn not to touch the War Beasts! He was lucky Roark tossed him in with Fluffy and not you’re Moreth, as moody as she has been lately."

"Aww, you now Moreth only likes warm cows for her night cap." Jenssen counters.

The three wait at the table to be served.

JJ please rollplay back your service to us. We are not here to start any fights, this is my character. We are here to report the latest Jousting results in a very entertaining manner. To be continued....

(Part 2) Why Hello Roark!

Stardate 201001.01 - Continued. Reposted from the Targ’s Head 02.01.2010

(Erie'Riov) Lieutenant JJ Version 3.1-FC.R.-’s robot, Floyd, choose the right moment to bring out a large platter of ribs out and begins to distribute them around the tables to all the patrons. After a quick safety check, Gorp and Grewell dig into the Targ Ribs. Gorp tosses up Jenssen a BBQ rib. She snatches it out of the air easily and takes a bite. Then, props her foot up on the back of the chair, her Blooddagger flashing green in the hazy smoke filled light of the bar. She leans into her leg to rest an elbow on it, Targ rib dangling in space in true Klingon style.

"Not bad JJ, not bad." Jenssen proclaims, heartily.

The crowd also approves of JJ’s BBQ Targ ribs with Bloodwine/STNE Christmas ketchup sauce with a cheer.

"Oh where was I now....Ah yes....The first bout between Kelran and Gorp." Jenssen picks up the story. Standing up straight again and tossing the unfinished rib down to Grewell and handing him her drink so she can use both arms to tell this part of the tale in grand sweeping fashion.

"So there were all were ready for the bout to begin. The air was thick with the smell of sweat and the deep musk of the War Beasts. The Denobian Trumpets heralded in the Champions to the Ring. The First Challengers entered the Arena, lances held high, armor gleaming under the lights to take a lap around the Arena. Dust was kicked up high into the air from the pounding hooves of the war steeds. The crowd was chatting, calling the name of their Champion. The Andorian Complement sitting at the West end of the Arena....it a wash in blue banners....chats of Kelran! Kelran! Rose to the rafters!"

"Gorp’s Nausciaan supporters filled the East end of the Arena. Half the Klingon Field on the North side behind the Offical’s box also were chanting for Gorp. Someone tossed a live Targlet onto the field and our Bolain flag man, Jrell, had to chase it down and toss it back of the Arena gates. For those of you who don’t know the flag man raises the pole flag at the mid-point of the Joint rail to start each Pass. Anyway, here was poor Jrell chasing that Targlet around the ring as the war beasts and their riders were getting all set up on either end; ready for the first Pass."

"I walked out on to the field as the Joust offical to start the customary short introduction of each Rider. Then the bout began."

"Jrell steadied is flag as both riders indicated they were ready. He raised the flag and both challengers reared their mounts and charged down the rail. Dust flew and the crowd rose to its feet as lances clashed upon shields and spintered into pieces mid field. A lance piece sailed into the crowd striking Tor'Cha ajla - House of Tor - =Klingon Empire= in the shoulder. Tor'Cha didn't even notice the sliver had struck him until Ka'Ra 'la - House of Tor =Klingon Empire= reached over and yanked it out. She held up the nine-centimeter piece to him and stymied the slight flow of blood with a small scrap of cloth torn from her shirt. Tor'Cha hugged her and let her keep the sliver. It was a mere flesh wound."

"Point on first hit to Kelran!" yelled Jrell.

"The Nausciaan crowd bood and hissed in displeasure from the stands. It was an honorable hit to the shield by Kelran and a good call by Jrell." Jenssen paused to let the tension build.

"The Challengers set up again, ready to charge the rail. Jrell lifted the flag and the war beasts raced down the rail... lances lowering to meet again mid-point. Gorp's Lance slid over the top edge of Kelran’s shield striking the Andorian it the shoulder. The lance tip when through his shoulder, breaking off cleanly. Kelran took the hit and crumpled back over Blades haunches so as not to be unseated by the blow. Kelran’s lance splintered against Gorp’s shield in a shower of pieces, arching out over the crown on the south end of the arena. Someone yelled as a piece of lance pierced a body part and our Holographic Doctor - Mark 1 materialized to yank out the splinter to the howls of an Alpha Irindi native on the south end of the Arena."

"Kelrans team assessed his shoulder wound and he insisted to carry on the bout. Blue blood was flowing down the back of his armor, but it was not a crippling blow." Jenssen continued.

"Point to Gorp!" Jrell cried mid-field. The Nausicaan stands howled in approval.

"The challengers re-set and Jrell lifted the flag again....Blade and Rover charged down the field...War beast spittle flying.....and at mid field again the lances clashed with shield and armor. This time Gorps lance deflected low, striking the padded saddle Kelran was seated in. Rover dug in hard, pushing the lance up against his opponent Blade. Blade was caught off stride, lifting the Andorian Ice Runner off his feet slamming him into the padding on the North side of the Arena, end right in front of the officials booth. Blue Ice runner blood flew into the stands, covering Roark Tick - 20009's face and showering Jarm'en Kell's well positioned plastic sheet, as the lance sliced across the flank of the War beast. Kelran, the Andorian, toppled forward, falling out of the saddle as Blade bellowed and jumped, bucking wildly. The Andorian side of the field groaned in obvious defeat of their champion."

"Grewell and I jumped down from the Officals stand. Grewell grabbed Blade's reins and I slapped a large dermal patch on the War beasts flanks to stop the blood flow from the mere surface wound. Blade quickly came to a calm halt under Grewell’s careful ministering"

"Better bet he did!" Grewell shouted, "That War Beast knows who fills his feed each night."

"And the fact that you have a bottle of female Ice Runner pheromones in your pocket." Jenssen countered.

"Can ever be too prepared!" Grewell lifted his mug at Jenssen.

"Gorp, the ever gracious and uncontested winner of the bout, was already at mid-field helping Kelran up." Jenssen continued.

Gorp snorted, "Had to rub it in while I could!"

"Jrell took position center of the Arena between both Challengers and resolutely lifted Gorps arm as winner of the Bout. The Nuasicaan crowd went wild, chants of Gorp! Gorp!Gorp! filled the air. The Klingons howled in pleasure and mugs of Bloodwine were passed around freely."

"Both our War beasts were fine folks....Kelran will be back next season." Jenssen waved off any concern by the bar on-lookers.

"Are you sure?" Roark Tick countered from his seat. "I could take care of rest of that Ice Beast for you! Tasted a little bit like turtle pot pie!"

The crowd edged away from him a little more.

"Roark I'm sure. Blade is fine. He is a hearty beast." Jenssen waving Grewell to sit back down, before Grewell could stand up to go after Roark Tick, chuckling at what she knew would be the response from the opportunistic Insectoid.


to be continued.

Stardate 201001.01 - Continued. Reposted from the Targ’s Head 03.01.2010

Jenssen smiles as JJ get to include is little warriors brag in the mix. It is after, all his bar.

"Ah yes, then, now on to our Winners bracket bout." Jenssen quickly starts in, checking the time on the Chronometer above the bar. The hour is growing late.

"Once again our Champions enter, mounted on their war beasts and circle the arena to the rumbling cheers of the crowd and sound of trumpets. Grewell on the mighty Angkor Beast, Tank, who looks a lot like a large Terran Rhino, but is sleeker and quicker. Then Champion Dundin on the great Buzzsaw." Jenssen eyes the crowd mischievously.

"Now I know a lot of you don't know, but JJ was with us at a previous joust where he recieved that splinter. Durning that visit he was tossed in the War Beast pens with Rovers mate, Fluffy by Roark. Fluffy went off her feed, falling madly in love with JJ....well Grewell got his hands on JJ and tied him up in front of Buzzsaws pen threatening to feed him to Buzzsaw if he didn't get the two Nausicaan war beasts back together again. Obviously he did or wouldn't be sitting here with us today. Buzzsaw is our only omnivorous war beast. He is a lot like a huge Vulcan Sehlat, very bear-like, only he’s got orange scales, and he's Grewells favorite."

Gorp laughed shouts out, "More like his puppy dog!"

"Hey you were going to eat JJ's entrails! Fuffly is your favorite War Beast" Grewell reaches across JJ slugging the big Nausicaan in the chest, sloshing his bloodwine all over JJ. JJ hardly notices, he is so intent on the story, chewing happily on a targ rib.

"Take it outside! I'm not paying for this bar." Jenssen glares at the two of them and they settle down to listen to the rest of the tale.

"Well Buzzsaw seems to have a lot longer memory then any of us realized, as you shall see." Again, Jenssen smiles like the Cheshire Cat and the crowd knows, this is going to be good.

"Well our Champions take their positions on the field. Again, I introduce them to the crowd. The Klingon's bellow as Grewell's name is called from the north side of the Arena. The Alpha Irindi contengent boo's and hiss's from the south end until their Champion is introduced accordingly."

"Jrell advances to the center of the field with the flag. The Champions readied their mounts and lances. The flag is dropped and both Champions charge the rail....dust sprays high into the air as the Challengers cross lances mid-field. Buzzsaw bellows a growl at Tank as they pass and Tank rears up, almost unseating Grewell at the end of the arena."

"Point to Grewell!" yells Jrell, for Grewell's lance hits first on Dundins shield, sending a spray of splinters into the air. The Klingon stands erupt in howls of pleasure."

"The Champions re-set again....ready to charge the rail as Jrell lifts the flag for the second pass. Again, lances clash with shields and Buzzsaw bellows at Tank as they pass midfield. Again, Jrell yells out point to Grewell, for indeed Grewell even fighting to keep Tanks head straight to the onsalught of Buzzsaws intimidation of Tank, hits true on Dundin's shield. The Irindi crowd hisses in displeasure and the Klingon roar becomes almost defeaning...."

"Steady your beasts!" Yells Jrell mid-field as he is ready to raise the flag.

"The flag lifts and the Champions charge down the field. Tank has had enough of Buzzsaws intimidation and as the champions clash mid field. Tank ducks his head, catching Buzzsaws foot with his nose horn, making the bear-like warbeast stumble. Dundin flies off the saddle and crashes into Grewell knocking both champions to the ground at the same time. Buzzsaw comes unglued. He roars and charges after Tank. Tank being a quick and smart animal, jumps into the crowd on the Irindi side of the arena and runs along the barrier wall all along the officials box to the exit where the beast pens are, leaving Buzzsaw in the middle arena. Grewell and Dundin have both gone down in a jumble of arms and legs and Grewell jumps up yelling and swearing. Both are eliminated from the contest as both were fairly unseated. Dundin moans as it is obvious Grewells weight has broken a leg. EMH-MARK1 and Dr. Nibbert rush to the field to cart off the wounded champion while Grewell begins chasing down Buzzsaw to get him back to his pen. "

"But Buzzsaw has caught the scent of something in the stands and he rushs the officials booth where JJ is seated to the side and jumps up on the railing to grab JJ and haul him into the arena. JJ shreiks as he's lifted up over the railing and Buzzsaw startled by the sound that is almost like that of a small cub crying, drops him and stares at him on the dusty arena floor. JJ takes that opportunity to high tail it to Grewell who is running towards the two already. Buzzsaw counters, swiping a paw at JJ as he ducks behind Grewell. Grewell grabs the reins on Buzzsaws head halter and calms the beast. JJ sees he is safe and hesitantly reaches out to pat Buzzsaws rear, the furthest part away from the beasts teeth, as he walks whistling to himself to the officials booth, fists in the air in triumply at not getting killed or mangled today."

The crowd at the Bar cheers as JJ holds up both hands in the air, nodding.

"At the arena, one of the Durass sisters sees JJ, and rushes onto the field to pick him up and carry him back to the stands. JJ shrieks again, but it is too late. She is holding him to her bosom, purring in his ear, obviously so drunk she has mistaken JJ for some warrior, or she is after his pocket book again." Jenssen smiles again at the crowd. "Now that is a story we may never know the ending on."

Grewell slugs JJ in the shoulder, "I told you JJ we would make a warrior of you yet! I'm sure the Durass sisters did a good job warming you up!" Gorp and Grewell howl in laughter as JJ blushes red.

"So winner by default, this years jousting Champion for the first time, I give you the magnificent Gorp, Champion of the Nausicaan Nation!" Jenssen extends a hand, palm up, to indicate her Nauscicaan friend as he tips his chair back a shot glass in each hand.

"On a side note, our Guests of Honor, Tel’Peh and Nannersplit I am told were married off about 4 am after all the jousting celebrations ended by a very drunken officiating Ka’Ra in the presence of many of our Klingon guests. The Traditional Klingon Ceremony was held over subspace I have been told, but as I, Captain Jenssen, galactic, trader, bard, poet and warrior, was busy conducting a trade of various sorts at a black jack table, I missed the festivities. So that is one tale my, friends and colleagues, I can not tell you."

With that, Jenssen steps down from her chair and shakes hands with one of the bar partons as she shoulders her Vulcan cloak. Gorp and Grewell stand, recognizing it is now time to leave. Jenssen swipes the remains of her glass of Vulcan Brandy off the table as she heads toward the exit. JJ is getting clasps of congratulations on the back from his bar patrons. As the warrior bard reaches the door, she turns with a flourish and a twinkle in her eye.

Jenssen lifts her glass to those in the bar.

"I bid you all an evening toast of farewell"

"May the lift of a full deuterium tank lighten your load,
May the mist of a cosmic wormhole shorten your road,
And may all your friends remember, the favors you are owed."

With that she downs the rest of her drink, slides the glass across the bar to the robot and waves, to the galaxy's finest assembled in the bar, turns and dematerializes off to her ship.

The End